Do you ever have days.....

Where you feel like this? 

(Photo courtesy of http://www.art.com/products/p13805170-sa-i2758336/matthew-borkoski-atlas-statue-holding-up-the-world.htm)

Poor Atlas.... this is basically how I feel this semester. 

I have been thrown into the role of supervisor over the students in my department of the campus library.  My department is in the middle of a transition and I have to try to keep some sanity and have answers for those I work with. 

I am one of the only people in my Food Service Management class who actually knows anything about running a business (tracking sales, forecasting sales, marketing strategies, etc.). And some how, I have managed to make myself a person that they all come to with their problems......?

Lyle is having a rough and busy semester, so I am trying to be a good wife and keep the house clean, do the laundry, have dinner ready for him, plan healthy meals....etc....

My professors seem to think I have gobs of time to read 50 pages every single night. 

I have multiple groups, in multiple classes, that have multiple assignments due...and I feel obligated to make sure we actually accomplish things....

While I am sitting here trying to remember all of the problems I have to fix, who I need to fix them for, setting up a cashflow for my Management class, figuring out a safety stock for the same class, trying to remember which tests are due this week and when, and figuring out what I am going to make Lyle for dinner tonight.......... 

I just have one question.

Who do I get to pawn all of my problems and questions off to?!!! 

Seriously, are there any takers? Because I would love it if someone would like to help keep my world from crashing down around me.  :)

Just Hold On.....

This song, "Hold On," by Michael Buble effectively brings tears to my eyes every time I hear it (lets be honest, most of the time I end up sobbing). Probably because every time I listen to it, I'm an emotional mess and am listening specifically for the lyrics. 

It's currently the most played song on my playlist.

We are so close to graduating. 

So close to being done with homework and exams. 

So close to starting a new adventure that will hopefully bring more happiness and joy than our little family has experienced yet. 

So close that I can hardly stand it. 

Remember how I posted about patience? Well, I'm trying my best to be patient.

But, I still have those moments when I completely lose my cool and break down.

And when those moments come, I try my best to remember to just hold on. 

Hold onto the good things. 

Hold onto my faith. 

Hold onto the happiness that does exist in my life right now.

Hold onto Lyle (he's really good about letting me cry). 

And Hold on to Hope. 

Hope of graduating in July.

Hope of not having to work anymore. 

Hope of being able to finally grow our family. 

And Hope of good things to come. 

This song is kind of therapeutic for me. The words are beautiful, and if you need a little help holding on, I would encourage you to listen to it. And if nothing else, know that I am right there with you. Trying my best to hold on too.

Patience....

Patience is one of those things that seems like it was left out of my programming. My parents and my husband will tell you that I have always liked to have things done how, where, and when I want. A few events have taken place over the last weekend and I have been reminded that I need to be more patient before certain events can happen in my life. I'll let you in on a secret, Lyle and I want to have a baby. Shhh.... don't tell anyone. After much praying and pondering on this subject, I have been reminded that things happen on the time table of the Lord, not necessarily when I want them to happen. We haven't been actively trying (because we are both still in school) and it isn't due to fertility problems (we aren't aware of any yet). It has all been a matter of timing. Lyle will tell you that I have wanted a baby for over a year now, but we have held off because we know it isn't right yet.

Anyways.....before I ramble on more about things that you probably don't want or need to know about... :) Knowing that something isn't supposed to happen yet, doesn't make it any easier to wait for. So, after a few promptings from above, I decided to delve further into the topic of patience. I came across this great talk from Elder Neal A. Maxwell (I always like his talks). It's called "Patience" and it is from the October 1980 Ensign. I would very highly recommend it.

If you don't have time to read it right now, let me share a few of the lines with you that inspired me.

"Patience is not indifference. Actually, it is caring very much, but being willing, nevertheless, to submit both to the Lord and to what the scriptures call the “process of time.”

"Sometimes that which we are doing is correct enough but simply needs to be persisted in—patiently—not for a minute or a moment but sometimes for years."

"One is not only to endure—but to endure well and gracefully those things which the Lord 'seeth fit to inflict upon [us]' (Mosiah 3:19)..."

"Patience is tied very closely to faith in our Heavenly Father. Actually, when we are unduly impatient, we are suggesting that we know what is best—better than does God. Or, at least, we are asserting that our timetable is better than his. 

So, my New Years Resolution is to be more patient with myself, but more importantly to be more patient with my Heavenly Father. I need to have more faith in his plan for my life and stop complaining about not having exactly what I want, exactly when I want it. So 2012, hopefully you bring many great and wonderful things, and hopefully some of them are things that I want. :)