Love and Death

Today I spent my afternoon cleaning an apartment. The girl I was helping just lost her husband. She is around my age and has been married to him for 3 short years. He passed away in his sleep and he was on a job that took him away from home for a few months. His wife hasn't seen him in person for a while. She was telling me her story and it was all I could do to not break down and cry for her. She told me "I feel like I spent my whole life trying to find him and he is already gone just 3 years later."  She described to me the surreal feeling that surrounds her and how she still feels like he should be coming home in a month from his job. She described to me the way that they worked as a team and the loving relationship they had. I can only imagine the intense heartache she is feeling.

While I was cleaning I kept thinking about what my life would be like if Lyle wasn't here and I never want to know what it really feels like, especially so soon. I have so much that I am planning on doing with Lyle. I want to be a parent with him, see him become a successful business man, see Scottland and other countries, go on walks and watch the sunset, etc. Luckily for me, my husband will come home tonight and I can wrap my arms around him and tell him to his face how much I love him. I can take time everyday to make sure he knows that I love him and that he makes me the happiest person in the world.

Sometimes life isn't fair. It wasn't really designed to be fair. But one of the most important lessons that we can learn in this life is to love. Love, like our spirits, goes on after death. While I feel bad for my friend, she knows this. She is at peace because she knows she will be with her husband again and it is God's will. She has her love for her husband and God to keep her going. We were talking about how people remember the first this or the first that and how she is now realizing their lasts. We cleaned the last apartment they lived in together today. This past Christmas was their last together and so on. Soon she will be experiencing new firsts. The first anniversary without him, etc. Life will not be easy and I don't envy her at all. I do wish her luck with her future and thank her for the reminder to show my husband how much I love him everyday.